Things may even get more complicated in gay dating where there are additional issues like coming out and gay politics to contend with. Start with an icebreaker The toughest part about making conversation on the first date is to break the ice.
If you know already something about your partner, use it to get started. For instance if you are aware that he teaches in a college, you could ask something about the campus or courses; then again if you have met through mutual friends, you could ask how he knows them. In case of a blind date or when you know absolutely nothing about your date, use general icebreakers which relate to him or you.
I'm looking to buy a new computer. Where did you get it? Do you know which are the good restaurants? Browse profiles of single gay men in your city looking for activity partners and dates. Ask open-ended questions Now that you have at least got the conversational juices flowing, take it further by asking open-ended questions.
Take it easy and slow and he is sure to get comfortable talking about himself. Pay attention to your date An important part of making conversation is also listening appropriately. While you may have succeeded in getting the conversation going, at the same time it is also important to listen actively to what your partner has to say and maintain eye contact when he is speaking to you.
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Seldom is anything so irritating to a date when a partner lets his gaze stray to the others in the room and gets distracted by a single at the next table. Also avoid fiddling with your phone or checking the time too often. When you pay attention to what your date has to say, he will not only be charmed by your consideration but also feel valued and respected which is essential for any serious relationship. Pay a compliment or two Everyone likes to hear something nice about himself.
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It tells the listener that he is appreciated and has something special. And in case of a first date, it is even more important that you make your partner feel nice about himself since this will in turn make him wish to be with you even more. First off, it's better to keep the conversation basic during an initial encounter instead of yapping on about sex and all the crazy things you've done.
I value spontaneity, but I don't actually need to know if you're a top or a bottom until I'm in bed, staring directly at your butthole. Even if your date conversation seems to be lacking, try to avoid any conversations related to you, your ex and all of their terrible qualities. We don't know each other well enough yet, so odds are, while you're listing off traits you hated about your ex, you're going to utter something that I do regularly like whistling while I pee , and I'm going to be immediately turned off. The gay community is pretty tight-knit, so odds are I'll probably know any name you throw around in some capacity.
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I'd rather not listen to you talk shit about someone I could potentially be very good friends with. While I'm curious about your life and all the great things you have to offer, I enjoy a little bit of mystery, too. Don't allow yourself to get so caught up in conversation that I'm not even able to get one word in. I'm sure you're a class act, too, but so am I! Take a goddamn breath, and let me tell you about myself, if you don't mind. Whether you enjoy a few weekday drinks with your boys at the local gay bar, a few puffs from a bowl or bareback sex with a side of handcuffs, I'm not one to judge.
That being said, I think it's best to avoid mentioning any habits you have that could be considered a "imperfection" in someone's eyes.
In my past experiences, just a mere mention of someone's questionable hobby could trigger something subconsciously in a person's brain and act as turn-off for the rest of the date. He must be a lazy piece of shit. If you wanted to have sex and never see me again, we didn't need to waste money on cocktails first.
Whether it continues toward a relationship is certainly a question you can ask yourself, but it's better not to make it awkward by asking what I'm looking for.